We are a class of Year 3 & 4 children at Vardon School in Hamilton, NZ. The purpose of this blog is to share what we are learning with others. Click into our individual blogs to see samples of our learning and our reflections. WE LOVE LEARNING!!! We also love commenting, so please leave us a comment!!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Loren's 100 word challenge

“Ooh it’s cold! Can we go back?” Moby complained to Tim. “No” Tim answered. It was a tropical evening and the crickets were louder then ever. Why are we here? Moby kept thinking to himself. Do you think we’re ever going to get out of here, it’s like a giant, cold, noisy, smelly maze! Moby wondered to himself. Tim and Moby were about to give up for the night when they heard a strange noise that sounded like a roaring, scary lion! They walked through a big gap made by some trees and then saw some wrinkly elephants rolling around in the squishy mud!

by LorenYear 4


  1. Hi Loren
    I can picture your setting because you have described it in a way that the reader can understand - a tropical evening and the crickets. I can actually hear the crickets!
    I am intrigued to know what happens with the elephants. How did they end up in your story line? What will happen next?
    A great first writing attempt for the 100 word challenge.
    Well done!
    Mrs Natusch

  2. I love this story for the prompt set by Brain Pop Loren! I can feel the frustration of Tim & Moby of not getting anywhere and then the great happy ending. Or was it? Of course, the elephants may not be friendly and they may be hiding something. You have left it so that you could write another episode! Thank you so much for taking the time to join 100WC!

  3. What a lovely entry for the 100WC Loren! I really enjoyed the variety of vocabulary you used as it made your story a pleasure to read. I especially liked reading about the elephants at the end - I wonder are they friendly or not so friendly? I hope to see more of your work :)

    Amy (Team 100WC)

  4. I loved the story you wrote. Even though you had a few mistakes it was a great story!

  5. Wow that was good.I did a 100 word challang.

  6. I love your strong verbs and powerful adjectives! It's better than my.

  7. Well done you used a lot of wow words.


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